Anger
Anger is a natural human emotion we all experience at times. Anger is often invoked when we experience instances of hurt, injustice, fear, or frustration. Anger is easily identified by the powerful physical responses that occur in the body. These responses can manifest as a sudden rush of adrenaline, an increased in blood pressure and/or heart rate or rapid breathing which often can take over us.
During an experience of anger the brain reacts by directing the body to release the stress hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. This physical response can lead to aggressive behavior that, in appropriate times, assists us to defend ourselves if being attacked. The feeling of anger itself is not the problem because it is our body’s natural way of defending itself. However, it is how we react to the anger during non-life-threatening situations that can lead to real problems.
Signs & Symptoms of Out of Control Anger
The inability to manage anger and reactivity can become destructive and negatively affect many areas of our lives including at work, school, or in personal relationships. Excessive anger, whether expressed towards others or turned inward towards ourselves, negatively affects our overall sense of well-being.
Important indicators that anger has become a problem and anger management would be beneficial include:
Anger Management Therapy Sessions
Struggling with the inability to manage your reactivity and feelings of anger can lead to many negative behaviors that will wreak havoc on your life. These behaviors can destroy important relationships, career, and one’s mental and physical health. During anger management, you learn new and more productive responses to anger which allow you to regain control of your life and relationships.
The goal of anger management in therapy is to teach you how to recognize the early signs of anger and shows you how to better respond when anger strikes. This allows you to better deal with negative situations in a more positive way. Anger management teaches the importance of self-awareness and allows for the learning of new skills to better respond to and manage the difficulties of everyday life.
The focus of anger management is not to repress natural feelings of anger, but to teach individuals how to express anger in more healthy and constructive ways. Managing anger in a positive way is a learned behavior which requires both practice and persistence.
We learn we can’t change the people and/or circumstances which may evoke feelings of anger within us, however we can learn how to better manage our reactions to them. Anger management sessions (psychotherapy) can be done individually, with couples or family. These therapy sessions focus on teaching you specific skills and ways of thinking to better cope with anger.
Self-Help Tips: Strategies for Successfully Managing Anger
The most effective approach to anger management is seeking help from a therapist specializing in anger management. If you are experiencing other psychiatric symptoms such as depression or anxiety or struggle with addiction, it would be beneficial to address these issues in addition to anger management in order to be effective.
Ways that may help in managing your anger:
Self-awareness: It is important to learn to identify what situations trigger you to become angry. Take a moment. Listen to your body. Become attuned to your natural reactions. Are you noticing a pattern? Do you have specific triggers? Can you identify where the anger begins in your body? Is anger a way to deal with feelings such as embarrassment, hurt, or shame?
Talk to a therapist who can help you process your thoughts and feelings in order to better deal with the difficulties in life. If you don’t know why you are angry, what your triggers are and you find yourself blaming everyone else for your emotions, it becomes difficult to use anger management techniques effectively.
Practice Mindfulness: Notice when you start to get angry where it appears in your body. Do you get a knot in your stomach, a headache, tense shoulders, or experience heat somewhere? You can slow down and bring yourself into the present moment by implementing ways to relax such as deep breathing, meditation, and peaceful imagery which helps slow down some of the physical symptoms of anger.
It’s helpful to practice Mindfulness by slowing down during times when you are not feeling upset. Meditating is one way to learn to slow down and relax your mind. It is helpful to learn meditation and Mindfulness techniques to talk yourself down before and during the heat of the moment.
Change Your Negative Way of Thinking: When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to check in with your way of thinking. Ask yourself, “Is getting upset going to fix anything?” Or, “Is this worth ruining my day over?” Bring in a more rational and objective way of looking at the situation. If someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of thinking things like, “They meant to cut me off, they saw me” replace that thinking with, “They probably are in a rush and didn’t see me.” Our way of thinking about a situation can intensify or reduce our anger.
Explore Your Underlying Anger: Anger and frustration can be created by something from our past or a current situation you are struggling with situation. If you notice yourself getting angry about the small stuff, explore what may be beneath your anger. Ask yourself “What is so wrong in my life that I feel so angry, and what do I need to do to change the situation?” “Is there something that happened in my past that is triggering how I currently feel?”
By exploring your angry feelings deeper, you can use them as a sign that you need to work on something that is bothering you and it can be used as motivation for positive change. It is important to recognize those situations you can’t control or change and instead work on changing your perspective of the situation.
Find the Humor: Have you ever gotten angry about something and a few months later you laughed about it? What made it funny just a few months later? It was the more objective perspective of the incident. When it comes to managing our anger, the ability to find the humor can be equally important. With the proper insight into the everyday frustrations of life, we can sometimes laugh about the craziness of it all. When used to address a frustrating situation, humor can help you achieve a more balanced perspective.
Take a Moment: If your anger seems to be escalating, remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes and do something to distract you. It may help to take a walk, listen to some relaxing music, or meditate. The chances of resolving a situation in a productive manner greatly increase when it is approached with a clear and rational mind.
Make A Change: While we can’t control most of the things that happen in life, we are able to take steps to avoid unnecessary stress. Look at your daily schedule and identify activities, times of day, people, places, or situations that are a source of frustration and anger. Then make some changes. Find an alternate route to work; shut the door to your child’s messy room; set up a time when you’re not too tired and hungry to talk about important matters with your spouse; and most of all, make sure you have some time to yourself on a daily basis.
Acknowledge the Gains of Anger: Anger in the short-term produces at least one perceived benefit. Receiving attention, getting your way, perceived respect, feeling powerful, and releasing tension. Most of the time we don’t continue unhealthy behaviors unless they are benefitting us in some ways. It’s important to realize that even though we gain something from getting angry, expressing anger isn’t going to benefit us in the long run. So, by letting go of short-term benefits and keeping our eyes on the bigger picture, we have the ability to live a more balanced life with happier relationships.
During an experience of anger the brain reacts by directing the body to release the stress hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. This physical response can lead to aggressive behavior that, in appropriate times, assists us to defend ourselves if being attacked. The feeling of anger itself is not the problem because it is our body’s natural way of defending itself. However, it is how we react to the anger during non-life-threatening situations that can lead to real problems.
Signs & Symptoms of Out of Control Anger
The inability to manage anger and reactivity can become destructive and negatively affect many areas of our lives including at work, school, or in personal relationships. Excessive anger, whether expressed towards others or turned inward towards ourselves, negatively affects our overall sense of well-being.
Important indicators that anger has become a problem and anger management would be beneficial include:
- Feeling like you constantly have to “hold in” or repress your angry feelings.
- Frequent arguing with your family, friends, co-workers or acquaintances.
- Trouble with the law, or reckless disregard for rules.
- Physical violence, such as hitting, loud shouting, door slamming, etc.
- Threats of violence against people or property.
- Out-of-control behavior, such as breaking things or reckless driving.
Anger Management Therapy Sessions
Struggling with the inability to manage your reactivity and feelings of anger can lead to many negative behaviors that will wreak havoc on your life. These behaviors can destroy important relationships, career, and one’s mental and physical health. During anger management, you learn new and more productive responses to anger which allow you to regain control of your life and relationships.
The goal of anger management in therapy is to teach you how to recognize the early signs of anger and shows you how to better respond when anger strikes. This allows you to better deal with negative situations in a more positive way. Anger management teaches the importance of self-awareness and allows for the learning of new skills to better respond to and manage the difficulties of everyday life.
The focus of anger management is not to repress natural feelings of anger, but to teach individuals how to express anger in more healthy and constructive ways. Managing anger in a positive way is a learned behavior which requires both practice and persistence.
We learn we can’t change the people and/or circumstances which may evoke feelings of anger within us, however we can learn how to better manage our reactions to them. Anger management sessions (psychotherapy) can be done individually, with couples or family. These therapy sessions focus on teaching you specific skills and ways of thinking to better cope with anger.
Self-Help Tips: Strategies for Successfully Managing Anger
The most effective approach to anger management is seeking help from a therapist specializing in anger management. If you are experiencing other psychiatric symptoms such as depression or anxiety or struggle with addiction, it would be beneficial to address these issues in addition to anger management in order to be effective.
Ways that may help in managing your anger:
Self-awareness: It is important to learn to identify what situations trigger you to become angry. Take a moment. Listen to your body. Become attuned to your natural reactions. Are you noticing a pattern? Do you have specific triggers? Can you identify where the anger begins in your body? Is anger a way to deal with feelings such as embarrassment, hurt, or shame?
Talk to a therapist who can help you process your thoughts and feelings in order to better deal with the difficulties in life. If you don’t know why you are angry, what your triggers are and you find yourself blaming everyone else for your emotions, it becomes difficult to use anger management techniques effectively.
Practice Mindfulness: Notice when you start to get angry where it appears in your body. Do you get a knot in your stomach, a headache, tense shoulders, or experience heat somewhere? You can slow down and bring yourself into the present moment by implementing ways to relax such as deep breathing, meditation, and peaceful imagery which helps slow down some of the physical symptoms of anger.
It’s helpful to practice Mindfulness by slowing down during times when you are not feeling upset. Meditating is one way to learn to slow down and relax your mind. It is helpful to learn meditation and Mindfulness techniques to talk yourself down before and during the heat of the moment.
Change Your Negative Way of Thinking: When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to check in with your way of thinking. Ask yourself, “Is getting upset going to fix anything?” Or, “Is this worth ruining my day over?” Bring in a more rational and objective way of looking at the situation. If someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of thinking things like, “They meant to cut me off, they saw me” replace that thinking with, “They probably are in a rush and didn’t see me.” Our way of thinking about a situation can intensify or reduce our anger.
Explore Your Underlying Anger: Anger and frustration can be created by something from our past or a current situation you are struggling with situation. If you notice yourself getting angry about the small stuff, explore what may be beneath your anger. Ask yourself “What is so wrong in my life that I feel so angry, and what do I need to do to change the situation?” “Is there something that happened in my past that is triggering how I currently feel?”
By exploring your angry feelings deeper, you can use them as a sign that you need to work on something that is bothering you and it can be used as motivation for positive change. It is important to recognize those situations you can’t control or change and instead work on changing your perspective of the situation.
Find the Humor: Have you ever gotten angry about something and a few months later you laughed about it? What made it funny just a few months later? It was the more objective perspective of the incident. When it comes to managing our anger, the ability to find the humor can be equally important. With the proper insight into the everyday frustrations of life, we can sometimes laugh about the craziness of it all. When used to address a frustrating situation, humor can help you achieve a more balanced perspective.
Take a Moment: If your anger seems to be escalating, remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes and do something to distract you. It may help to take a walk, listen to some relaxing music, or meditate. The chances of resolving a situation in a productive manner greatly increase when it is approached with a clear and rational mind.
Make A Change: While we can’t control most of the things that happen in life, we are able to take steps to avoid unnecessary stress. Look at your daily schedule and identify activities, times of day, people, places, or situations that are a source of frustration and anger. Then make some changes. Find an alternate route to work; shut the door to your child’s messy room; set up a time when you’re not too tired and hungry to talk about important matters with your spouse; and most of all, make sure you have some time to yourself on a daily basis.
Acknowledge the Gains of Anger: Anger in the short-term produces at least one perceived benefit. Receiving attention, getting your way, perceived respect, feeling powerful, and releasing tension. Most of the time we don’t continue unhealthy behaviors unless they are benefitting us in some ways. It’s important to realize that even though we gain something from getting angry, expressing anger isn’t going to benefit us in the long run. So, by letting go of short-term benefits and keeping our eyes on the bigger picture, we have the ability to live a more balanced life with happier relationships.