Parenting
Parenting therapy is basically getting help and guidance for your child or teen. This form of therapy is considered short-term and based on the unique and individual needs of your child and family. Therapy may consist of all your child’s loved ones, or just you and your spouse, you and your child, or sometimes just you. Each treatment plan is specific to the situation and family. It doesn’t matter if the conflict lies between you and your child, is a result of family trauma, or related to a child’s developmental, physical, or mental health problems; therapy sessions can provide you with the support and resources needed to be the best parent possible.
During parenting therapy, therapists provide the tools and strategies needed for you and your child to function optimally within your family. More specifically, parenting therapists provide you with the guidance and support needed to provide a stable and healthy childhood experience for your child. It is assumed that parenting is just something that should automatically come naturally, when for most of us, it does not.
Having children and understanding how to parent are two totally different things. You have a good understanding of what it takes to be a good parent but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can avoid the challenges that often accompany it. In truth, there is absolutely no such thing as a “perfect parent.” This idea is just a myth much like a unicorn or dragon.
All of us make mistakes, which is why parenting therapy may be the best decision you’ll ever make. This type of therapy addresses a multitude of issues, ranging from postpartum depression, teenage rebellion, to more serious issues such as domestic violence. Engaging in parenting therapy can be extremely beneficial – not only for yourself, but for your children and your family.
What is Considered a Good Parent?
Fortunately, there is absolutely no shame in seeking therapy in parenting your child or teen. And deciding to do so certainly does not make you a “bad parent.” The decision to work with a therapist on parenting issues simply means that you were brave enough ask for help In fact, turning to a parenting therapist is the first step in providing your children with stability, while acquiring the support and encouragement needed to be the best parent you can be. One of the best ways to be a “good parent” is to simply love your children unconditionally.
According to parenting experts, the responsibilities of a parent include the following:
Indications Parenting Therapy May Help
As a single mother of three amazing boys, I know firsthand how tough parenting can be. It can trigger all sorts of negative feelings and emotions while worsening stress levels and responses to every day events. Even if you are one of those easy going and calm parenting types, you still may have days where you may feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to manage your stress and/or emotions.
Tension, stress, and strain, when combined with a lack of sleep, a stressful job, a lack of a support system, or poor lifestyle choices, can easily lead to parenting issues. Parents who find themselves with a lack of a strong support system and who are experiencing a high level of stress (including symptoms of depression, anxiety, substance use, or PTSD) which interferes with the ability to be the best parent they can be- may benefit from seeking professional help.
Many times, parents can benefit from their own individual therapy with the therapist, outside of the parenting issues which brought them into therapy in the first place.
Common Parenting Issues
Each family brings with it its own unique problems and struggles, held against a backdrop of cultural, religious, and socioeconomic differences and challenges. However, there are some issues common to most, if not all, parents. These common issues include:
Some issues are less universal, but still can affect your ability to successfully parent your child and include:
It is common, in the face of stress, to adopt a variety of unhealthy coping mechanisms which serve to only worsen a situation. Furthermore, it can be hard to recognize when things are about to become out-of-control or when they are already out-of-control. In fact, it’s normally family, friends, and outside schools and agencies who recommend parenting counseling – not necessarily the parent in need of it.
The best thing you can do is to seek therapy for yourself, your partner, and your child(ren), when there is a significant change in your family. The reason lies in the fact that unexpected and “out of your control” events can disrupt and alter your family structure, thus leading to child angst and/or behavioral issues. In this case, you may need to find a therapist – to help you better manage any symptoms of uncontrollable anger, irritability, depression, anxiety, chronic worry, and feelings of being overwhelmed or not in control. Additionally, symptoms like uncontrollable crying, chronic anxiety, mood swings, manic episodes, and/or depression are causes of concern.
Lastly, if you are a survivor of domestic violence, rape, or abuse, it may be beneficial for you to seek parenting therapy. The children of adult survivors of abuse, violence, and/or addiction most certainly feel the impact of past trauma whether the parent is able to recognize it or not.
It is important to note that sometimes parents are ordered to attend parenting counseling. This decision is usually made by a family court judge in instances of child custody or involvement with child protective services. In this scenario, the judge has deemed that a parent needs to improve their parenting skills.
Goals of Parenting Therapy
Children tend to adopt the views, beliefs, and behaviors of their parents and primary caregivers. As a parent, you are your child’s first teacher as they look to you to see what is deemed appropriate behavior and what is not. Your child, and believe it or not- even your teenager, is always watching and listening to how you react, respond, and speak in different situations. Children mimic their parents’ behaviors, so it is imperative that you always model healthy behaviors in front of your child or teen.
But let’s keep it real, always modeling positive behaviors is not an easy feat for any parent, especially when faced with adversity, stress, and boundless challenges. Even under ideal circumstances, parents are still human, and therefore bound to make some mistakes. Making mistakes is normal. You will not “ruin” your child if you make mistakes. Instead, use your mistakes as an opportunity to provide your child with “teachable moments.” By acknowledging your mistakes, you model and teach your child that mistakes are okay from time-to-time and the importance of owning up to your mistake, making apologies, and seeking help when needed.
What A Parenting Session Looks Like
During the initial parent counseling session, your therapist will complete an assessment to get a clear picture of you and your child’s needs along with the issues or problems you are seeking to address. You and your therapist will then set specific and realistic therapeutic goals based on what you would like to see accomplished in therapy. Many times, a common goal for a parent is addressing and resolving their own personal issues in a more positive and healthy way, so their child(ren) is not negatively impacted by them.
The first step in improving your ability to effectively manage your current stressors, anxiety, and difficult situations, you must first admit that there is indeed a problem. This is one of the most important stages in the therapeutic process. Seeking therapy takes time, courage, and both a personal and financial investment. By admitting right away there is a problem, you avoid wasting your time and resources and move forward in finding real solutions to your problems.
Following sessions will work towards achieving your goals, improving communication, and strengthening your conflict-resolution skills. Sessions may include just you or it may include the whole family. You will be giving parenting exercises to complete and you will share your experiences during follow-up sessions.
Parenting Techniques
Parenting therapists use a variety of techniques during counseling sessions which will depend on your unique issue/situation and desired therapeutic goals. If your issue involves anxiety and/or depression, your therapist may use a combination of “talk therapy,” reframing, CBT, roleplay, expressive therapies, and/or communication exercises to help you better manage these conditions.
Other issues like Postpartum Depression, may require an entirely different approach, to include individual counseling and/or group therapy for support. When post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is evident, a therapist may use a controlled session format that includes “talk therapy,” a cognitive-behavior therapy approach, and coping techniques to help you cope with the flashbacks and trauma.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is used to treat a variety of personal and parenting issues, such as:
Behavior Modification
Behavior Modification is based on a parenting technique using reinforcement to reward good behaviors and discourage unwanted ones. The basic goal of Behavior Modification is to address a behavior without worrying about the underlying cause that motivates it. It is a good way to address a variety of behavior problems and shape behavior one step at a time. Behavior Modification is shown to be effective when disciplining children and teens with ADHD, Autism, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
In Behavior Modification, a therapist will teach you how to modify your child or teen’s behavior by using positive and negative consequences. Parents use behavior modification to increase their child’s desirable behaviors while decreasing undesirable behaviors. A parenting therapist will teach parents how to use effective positive reinforcement techniques such as praise, a reward system, or token economy system. Parents will learn the importance of providing logical consequences when addressing their child’s positive and negative behaviors.
Positive Parenting
Positive parenting is a technique of parenting which holds children to realistic standards by using clear expectations and empowering them to become the resilient and capable children you hope them to be. It encourages parents to be both compassionate and firm.
The principles of Positive Parenting assume a child’s primary goal is to achieve belonging and significance, that all behavior is goal-oriented, and a misbehaving child is a discouraged child. The difference between Positive Parenting and other parenting methods is that it is proactive by using strategic parenting tools in advance, rather that reacting to misbehavior. It helps you learn how to proactively prepare and ward off future misbehaviors by meeting your child’s emotional needs first.
During parenting therapy, therapists provide the tools and strategies needed for you and your child to function optimally within your family. More specifically, parenting therapists provide you with the guidance and support needed to provide a stable and healthy childhood experience for your child. It is assumed that parenting is just something that should automatically come naturally, when for most of us, it does not.
Having children and understanding how to parent are two totally different things. You have a good understanding of what it takes to be a good parent but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can avoid the challenges that often accompany it. In truth, there is absolutely no such thing as a “perfect parent.” This idea is just a myth much like a unicorn or dragon.
All of us make mistakes, which is why parenting therapy may be the best decision you’ll ever make. This type of therapy addresses a multitude of issues, ranging from postpartum depression, teenage rebellion, to more serious issues such as domestic violence. Engaging in parenting therapy can be extremely beneficial – not only for yourself, but for your children and your family.
What is Considered a Good Parent?
Fortunately, there is absolutely no shame in seeking therapy in parenting your child or teen. And deciding to do so certainly does not make you a “bad parent.” The decision to work with a therapist on parenting issues simply means that you were brave enough ask for help In fact, turning to a parenting therapist is the first step in providing your children with stability, while acquiring the support and encouragement needed to be the best parent you can be. One of the best ways to be a “good parent” is to simply love your children unconditionally.
According to parenting experts, the responsibilities of a parent include the following:
- To foster your child’s medical and development needs
- To protect your child from harm
- To spend quality time with your child
- To actively listen to your child
- To set limits for your child
- To guide your child and provide structure to his/her life
- To provide stability and consistency
- To supervise your child’s relationships and friendships
Indications Parenting Therapy May Help
As a single mother of three amazing boys, I know firsthand how tough parenting can be. It can trigger all sorts of negative feelings and emotions while worsening stress levels and responses to every day events. Even if you are one of those easy going and calm parenting types, you still may have days where you may feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to manage your stress and/or emotions.
Tension, stress, and strain, when combined with a lack of sleep, a stressful job, a lack of a support system, or poor lifestyle choices, can easily lead to parenting issues. Parents who find themselves with a lack of a strong support system and who are experiencing a high level of stress (including symptoms of depression, anxiety, substance use, or PTSD) which interferes with the ability to be the best parent they can be- may benefit from seeking professional help.
Many times, parents can benefit from their own individual therapy with the therapist, outside of the parenting issues which brought them into therapy in the first place.
Common Parenting Issues
Each family brings with it its own unique problems and struggles, held against a backdrop of cultural, religious, and socioeconomic differences and challenges. However, there are some issues common to most, if not all, parents. These common issues include:
- Financial problems
- Childcare arrangements
- Marital problems
- Death in the family
- Children, who are having problems in school – i.e. with peers, learning, etc.
- Relocation to a new home, family, state, and/or school
Some issues are less universal, but still can affect your ability to successfully parent your child and include:
- A loss of a job
- A loved one with a serious and/or chronic health condition, illness, disability, or injury
- An adoption, especially of an older foster child
- A mental illness diagnosis
- Addiction
It is common, in the face of stress, to adopt a variety of unhealthy coping mechanisms which serve to only worsen a situation. Furthermore, it can be hard to recognize when things are about to become out-of-control or when they are already out-of-control. In fact, it’s normally family, friends, and outside schools and agencies who recommend parenting counseling – not necessarily the parent in need of it.
The best thing you can do is to seek therapy for yourself, your partner, and your child(ren), when there is a significant change in your family. The reason lies in the fact that unexpected and “out of your control” events can disrupt and alter your family structure, thus leading to child angst and/or behavioral issues. In this case, you may need to find a therapist – to help you better manage any symptoms of uncontrollable anger, irritability, depression, anxiety, chronic worry, and feelings of being overwhelmed or not in control. Additionally, symptoms like uncontrollable crying, chronic anxiety, mood swings, manic episodes, and/or depression are causes of concern.
Lastly, if you are a survivor of domestic violence, rape, or abuse, it may be beneficial for you to seek parenting therapy. The children of adult survivors of abuse, violence, and/or addiction most certainly feel the impact of past trauma whether the parent is able to recognize it or not.
It is important to note that sometimes parents are ordered to attend parenting counseling. This decision is usually made by a family court judge in instances of child custody or involvement with child protective services. In this scenario, the judge has deemed that a parent needs to improve their parenting skills.
Goals of Parenting Therapy
Children tend to adopt the views, beliefs, and behaviors of their parents and primary caregivers. As a parent, you are your child’s first teacher as they look to you to see what is deemed appropriate behavior and what is not. Your child, and believe it or not- even your teenager, is always watching and listening to how you react, respond, and speak in different situations. Children mimic their parents’ behaviors, so it is imperative that you always model healthy behaviors in front of your child or teen.
But let’s keep it real, always modeling positive behaviors is not an easy feat for any parent, especially when faced with adversity, stress, and boundless challenges. Even under ideal circumstances, parents are still human, and therefore bound to make some mistakes. Making mistakes is normal. You will not “ruin” your child if you make mistakes. Instead, use your mistakes as an opportunity to provide your child with “teachable moments.” By acknowledging your mistakes, you model and teach your child that mistakes are okay from time-to-time and the importance of owning up to your mistake, making apologies, and seeking help when needed.
What A Parenting Session Looks Like
During the initial parent counseling session, your therapist will complete an assessment to get a clear picture of you and your child’s needs along with the issues or problems you are seeking to address. You and your therapist will then set specific and realistic therapeutic goals based on what you would like to see accomplished in therapy. Many times, a common goal for a parent is addressing and resolving their own personal issues in a more positive and healthy way, so their child(ren) is not negatively impacted by them.
The first step in improving your ability to effectively manage your current stressors, anxiety, and difficult situations, you must first admit that there is indeed a problem. This is one of the most important stages in the therapeutic process. Seeking therapy takes time, courage, and both a personal and financial investment. By admitting right away there is a problem, you avoid wasting your time and resources and move forward in finding real solutions to your problems.
Following sessions will work towards achieving your goals, improving communication, and strengthening your conflict-resolution skills. Sessions may include just you or it may include the whole family. You will be giving parenting exercises to complete and you will share your experiences during follow-up sessions.
Parenting Techniques
Parenting therapists use a variety of techniques during counseling sessions which will depend on your unique issue/situation and desired therapeutic goals. If your issue involves anxiety and/or depression, your therapist may use a combination of “talk therapy,” reframing, CBT, roleplay, expressive therapies, and/or communication exercises to help you better manage these conditions.
Other issues like Postpartum Depression, may require an entirely different approach, to include individual counseling and/or group therapy for support. When post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is evident, a therapist may use a controlled session format that includes “talk therapy,” a cognitive-behavior therapy approach, and coping techniques to help you cope with the flashbacks and trauma.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is used to treat a variety of personal and parenting issues, such as:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Phobias
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Eating disorders – i.e. anxiety, bulimia, etc.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Behavior Modification
Behavior Modification is based on a parenting technique using reinforcement to reward good behaviors and discourage unwanted ones. The basic goal of Behavior Modification is to address a behavior without worrying about the underlying cause that motivates it. It is a good way to address a variety of behavior problems and shape behavior one step at a time. Behavior Modification is shown to be effective when disciplining children and teens with ADHD, Autism, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
In Behavior Modification, a therapist will teach you how to modify your child or teen’s behavior by using positive and negative consequences. Parents use behavior modification to increase their child’s desirable behaviors while decreasing undesirable behaviors. A parenting therapist will teach parents how to use effective positive reinforcement techniques such as praise, a reward system, or token economy system. Parents will learn the importance of providing logical consequences when addressing their child’s positive and negative behaviors.
Positive Parenting
Positive parenting is a technique of parenting which holds children to realistic standards by using clear expectations and empowering them to become the resilient and capable children you hope them to be. It encourages parents to be both compassionate and firm.
The principles of Positive Parenting assume a child’s primary goal is to achieve belonging and significance, that all behavior is goal-oriented, and a misbehaving child is a discouraged child. The difference between Positive Parenting and other parenting methods is that it is proactive by using strategic parenting tools in advance, rather that reacting to misbehavior. It helps you learn how to proactively prepare and ward off future misbehaviors by meeting your child’s emotional needs first.